


THE LETTER

by Nalaje



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Character Death, Drunk Ian, Fluff, Heartbreak, Love, M/M, Magic, Pain, Past, Post 6x07, Second Chances, Sexual Content, getting back
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 18:13:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6125612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nalaje/pseuds/Nalaje
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The relationship between Ian and Caleb is developing successfully. Both of them are ready to take another step. But something really bad is coming. Something that will change one heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	THE LETTER

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I´m from Spain and this is my first fic. If there any mistake please let me know.  
> Thanks and I hope you enjoy!!

**1:00 AM**

The bed hit the wall noisily, while groans and the crash of two bodies were heard. After a few incessant minutes, both collapsed on the bedspread, stacked, and face down. The guy who was up, Caleb, stood up, removed the condom and tossed to a wastebasket next to the bed. He went back to the wet bed and gave a slap in the ass of the other guy, Ian.

-"Dickhead". He said laughing at the same time he rolled over, so now he was on his back.

Caleb accommodated over his chest alongside his partner, and started to caress the man´s face. Running his fingers through the lips and the cheeks.

They looked at each other in silence, contemplating the beauty of the other one.

-"I have to go". Ian said, knowing that what he really wanted to do was the opposite and spend the night with his new "boyfriend", if it could be called that.

\- "Stay tonight." Caleb asked. It was the third time they banged and the first time he asked the other guy to stay.

-"Okay". The redhead replied without thinking twice. It really was what he wanted. He really liked this guy and, he didn´t want things fucked up as had happened with his previous partner. Ian saw in him future, a stable and healthy relationship. All he wanted and needed in that moment.

For an instant he thought about Mickey, thought about how hard it had been everything with him, even to kiss or show signs of affection and love. He thought about all the violence and tension that was between them, insults, the rape, Terry. And he also realized that Mickey´s life was like a roller coaster. There were always money problems, murder, crime, jail… And that you can´t try to love someone who is going to spend the rest of his life behind bars. Yes, Mickey was the past and someone who would stay stagnated forever, with nothing new to offer than his criminal record.

But Caleb ... Caleb was another story. He was sweet and affectionate. He was able to kiss him from the beginning or in a public place uncaring that they were being observed. He was confident, he knew what he really was and wanted and was not afraid to show it. Even in front of his father. He had a job that didn´t involve steal or assault, but to save lives. He was respectful and never insulted him. With him everything was easy. There were no roller coasters. Only a flat road. The only problem presented was how to talk about his illness. He knew it wasn´t easy to carry or accept and he was afraid that Caleb wanted to leave him after telling that shit. This was the trigger of the break up with his ex-lover. He knew that Mickey had tried, but Ian also thought that Mickey still in love with his previous self, pre-bipolar Ian and he was trying to get back that one and wouldn´t accept the new one. But Caleb knew the current Ian, if he ended loving him for who he was right now, then nothing would have to change. They would keep being two people that are trying to know each other.

After that reflection Ian was willing to tell him. If he was going to start something with Caleb it would be the most appropriate.

-"I have to tell you something".

\- "What is it?".

Ian sat looking straight ahead. Caleb followed but trying to find the green eyes.

\- "Hey, are you okay?". He asked lifting his chin to get Ian looked at him.

\- "Look Caleb, I really like you, okay? Answered the younger boy with decision, holding the other man hand to take it from his chin to his legs.

\- "Okay". He replied after a brief pause, waiting for the other guy to continue.

\- "Damn, this is not easy. But I gotta tell you because I think if you really want to go ahead with this, because I do, you should know. I am bipolar. I was diagnosed a couple of months ago. I'm taking the pills. But they are really crap because they make me feel numb almost all the time, I don´t even feel anything sometimes, therefore I didn´t want to take them. The problem is that if I don´t take them, I cannot control myself and I can do crazy stuff, like trying to kill myself or be really happy and the next day stay in bed depressed all the day without eating or getting up out of the bed. My last boyfriend had to go through all that shit and he wanted me to take the pills but he didn´t realize that he treated me like a baby all the fucking time and I hated it. So I would understand that after what I just told you, you don´t want anything with me, but as I said you I like you and I really want to reach more".

Caleb stared at him a moment without saying a word. He was trying to digest what he had heard and trying to find the right words.

\- "Hey, listen to me." He said as he got on his knees and grabbed the other boy's face with both hands. - "I like you too much and honestly, I´m not going to change what I feel for you for that. Trust me; you´ve never given me reasons to want to stop this, in fact, I want to take another step forward, I want for us to be official, because…” The guy stopped for a moment to catch air. He felt like his heart was going to come out of his chest. He was so fucking nervous. A knot began to form in his throat and his hands started to sweat.  All his body was shaking. Shit, this man really got him. Before continuing, he tried to calm down and look at the other boy´s  pretty eyes without choking with his own words. He showed a nervous smile and cleared his throat. “Because I´ve not stopped thinking about you lately, all I want to do is being with you and share my day and that you share yours, I want you to want to tell me everything, because I want to know, good, bad, stupid or whatever things that happen to you. And I´ll try to help you, if you want me to”.    

Ian nodded. He was surprised at the reaction. He knew that this disease was serious crap and who really knew what it was, would not be so willing to take it. But he really wished that with Caleb didn´t happen. He was really starting to feel something for Ian, as he for Caleb. If he had been repressed a little his feelings for Caleb until now because of Mickey, now he wasn´t going to put any barrier. So now that he already knew the answer that he was so afraid to hear was said, untied his excitement and kissed his boyfriend with passion and fervor.

\- "Fuck, you don´t you how much I want you Ian". Caleb breathed in the other boy mouth, as he got over him. “I want you too”. And so they began their second session of the night, between gasps and kisses.

 

**3:00 AM**

The couple slept embraced, until a mobile started ringing.

\- "Fuck, what time is it? Asked Ian annoying.

\- " 3:10". Said the other guy turning on the lamp on the nightstand.

Ian picked up the phone and he was surprised to see the name on the screen.

\- "Svetlana?" Said confused. The last time he talked to her when they were to visit Mickey to jail.

\- "Sorry for calling you at this hour, but I have to talk to you, can you come to bar?".

-" Something wrong?"

\- "It's better you to come".

\- "Okay, I´m going". Ian hung up and dressed up ready to find out what was going on.

\- "Any problem?" Asked Caleb worried.

\- "I don't know, but I gotta go."

\- "Wait, I´ll take you."

...

The way to the bar was quiet. Ian was trying to discover what had happened to get a call from her. He knew was something really serious. He considered several possibilities, all related to Mickey. What if not? But he tried not to think about it. He knew that jail wasn´t the playground, but he trusted Mickey knew how to defend himself, like he always had done, and not getting into trouble. But it was clear that this wasn´t juvie or southside street. No, it was jail, where some of the worst people of Chicago were in there, people who stab you in the fucking eye if you eyeballed them. But again he tried to remove the image of his head. His stomach began to hurt. As he got sort of close to his place of destination the pain increased. Then the heart began to beat very, very fast. He needed to know right now. He needed to know that Mickey was okay. That nothing really wrong had happened to him. In this moment he realized that he cared more than he thought. Because after all, Mickey had always being his best friend. A big part of his life.

They arrived at Alibi and before the car stopped Ian was opening the co-pilot door. Desperate to know the news, he knocked the door nervously and after three blows it opened.

-"Come in". She motioned with his hand.

Before entering into the bar he turned and told Caleb to stay in the car.

-"What happened?". _What happened to Mickey?_

\- "Look there is no easy way to say this. Maybe you should sit".

\- "No, tell me what happened".

The russian felt how the ambient was beginning to tighten, so she didn´t distended further.

\- "They called me from jail." She paused looking how the redheaded was started to go pale. "He was found death about an hour in the bathroom".

The boy´s eyes widened and his pupils dilated. He didn´t realized that he was containing the breath until he felt a discomfort in the body. He felt dizzy as if he was going to throw up. He ran to the bathroom pushing accidentally Svetlana in the process. He opened the door and almost without time he emptied his belly in the toilet. The guy cleaned his mouth and then he sat leaning his back against the wall. Svetlana came in after him.

-"You need something?"

-"No, I´m fine”. He was not. “I just need a moment ". He said, incredulous, as if what he'd just heard were a bad joke. Something that couldn´t be real. It could not.

\- "Tomorrow I´ll go to collect his things. You can come with me if you want".

-"Okay". He responded with a voice so low it was almost inaudible.

-"All right. I´m gonna leave you alone".

The russian got up and left the bathroom directly to take a deep swig of vodka. Ian stayed in the same spot. Sat in silence and looking at the opposite wall for what it seemed a few seconds. Until someone took his hand. He turned his head and looked at the person who was at his side.

-"Are you okay?". Caleb asked with a clear tone of concern.

-"Yeah".

-"Are you sure? You've been here almost half an hour".

 _Half an hour? Shit it seemed a couple of minutes_. He had not realized how long he had been sitting there but he didn´t care. All he wanted right now was to get out of there.

\- "Yes, I…I just want to go home".

\- "Okay, I'll take you." Caleb offered. He didn´t know what happened. He had entered into the bar asking for Ian, so the russian pointed the bathroom. The boy knew that something really bad had happened judging by the face of the other man. He wanted to ask, but this wasn´t the best time.

The two men got up aiming to the car. Ian kept his way, helped by Caleb, without even saying goodbye to the woman that had given him the new. The way was as quiet as before. They arrived to the home of the redhead as another occasions. Only this time there were no kisses, no words, nothing just a horrible silence.

\- "Ian, we're here." The boy said putting a hand on the leg of his copilot.

\- "Hmm?, oh yes, yes". He sighed before leaving the car without saying goodbye as he did in the bar.

-"If you need something, call me". Caleb suggested watching him from inside the car.

-"Yes, thank you".

It was the last thing he said that night. He was headed to his home. The lights were off and everyone was asleep. He walked to reach the kitchen, opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, took a sip and put it back. Ian closed the door and then he propped up against the wall. Suddenly, almost without realizing, he began to notice his cheeks moistened and unable to stand it any longer he dropped down to sit on the floor. He felt a sharp pain in the chest, right where the heart is, and put a hand over it squeezing as if that way it were to relieve. But it didn´t work and the pain began to take possession of his entire body, he began to feel discomfort again but this time he didn´t feel like vomiting, the only thing he could do was crying. He crossed his arms and leaned over his bent legs and then stuck his head into the hole. He was trying to hold back his tears and sobs, but all he got was strengthening them. After being seated a while, maybe an hour, he stopped mourning, got up and walked to the room, powerless. He was helped by the wall to climb the stairs to his room. Then he undressed, got into his bed and began to mourn again. He buried his head in the pillow to hide his tears. That night was the first of many other ones he´d spend without sleeping.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading guys!!  
> This fic will be short, I have in mind (6-7 chapters), so I´ll try to upload them quickly.


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